Playing Chess

I used to play Chess a lot when I was in elementary. It was even my x-tra curricular activity back then..talkin about a nerd :D. That's not the kind of chess I'm talkin about though. It's my mind who has been playing chess lately. You know that in Islam our biggest jihad is the war between desire (nafsu) and brain (akal).....it's always a constant war that never ends til u die....... well... there's a big chess match goin on between them this time around and it's goin really tight. The thing is, sometimes you're not even sure which part is coming from the brain and which part is coming from desire, it makes things even harder to resolve. In other front, I am experiencing something somewhat analogous to what Jerry Seinfeld had in one of his sitcom episodes...remember this quote?

"I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time. It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game. And I'm letting him win.
"You're not letting him win. He wins 'til you're forty."
"Then what?"
"He still wins, but it's not a blow-out."
- Jerry and George, in "The Nose Job"

let's hope I can get out of this safe and sound ;)